High sensory sensitivity – a burdensome, wonderful gift
A couple of weeks ago, I turned sixty-one. I spent my solar time at a retreat with Patrick and for us, it meant pulling out of everyday life, and at least partially out of reach of work.
I had rented a small cottage in the archipelago, where, according to my astrological map, there were favorable energies for my solar moment. I trusted my map and forgot to ask the Helpers’ opinion regarding the place. And this is the beginning of a story that in turn brought in front of me another very important lesson.
When we arrived at the cottage, its surroundings sparked a lot of delight. Old archipelago milieu, sea and hazel groves. Small islands of beautiful junipers and curvy pine trees in the middle of undulating fields. Soul’s landscape that moved me. Until my eyes reached the high communication mast rising on the opposite shore that dominated the landscape! A small examination also revealed that just over a kilometer away there was an army base on its own island with strong radars and communication masts.
In the first few days, I did not react to the masts that much, because there is hardly any escaping them anymore. You get used to them in a way, or rather give in to the landscapes they dominate. After a few days, I began to notice a slight headache, the quiet throbbing kind, as well as the difficulty focusing on very deep meditations. We turned off the wifi connection in the cottage on the very first day, it’s already an accustomed habit. I do know that you can’t escape radiation just by turning off the wifi, but you have to at least do what you can do. In one of our meditations, I suddenly saw that we were like targeted by these red “precision rays” coming from three different directions. I asked P if he had remembered to turn his phone off. He had forgotten about it, but he turned it off when I asked him to. When the phones were in flight mode, the precision rays disappeared, but we were still being flushed by ring-like waves moving out of their center. In addition waves from three directions came together at our cottage, so we were bombarded by mighty heavy low energy.
I then decided to fight against those harmful energies and asked for extra special protection for myself, as I have already learned how my own sensitivity can be a burdensome gift when it comes to harmful surrounding energies. I have consciously focused for years on strengthening my own field so that I wouldn’t be a victim of my own sensibility, which means that I could not use that gift to serve because all the energies surrounding me would constantly break me down. That work has paid off because rarely am I so weak anymore that I could not keep harmful energies outside myself. It used to be different.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been a sensitive, cumbersome crybaby. I’ve reacted to people, sounds, lights, and places, either physically or through emotions. I was afraid a lot of all the technology, electricity, equipment, and bright lights. I enjoyed the twilight and experienced peace, especially at the cottage lit only by candles. I cried easily when faced with strangers and their energies. Very early on, I learned to escape from situations at home where I sensed that my father was in an aggressive mood or my mother was sad. I was scared and cried. So I grew up to be a difficult person, I was often a killjoy and prudish person who complained about everything. I understand very well that I was perceived that way because even I couldn’t explain why I felt even physically ill in certain situations. Over the years, I learned to observe myself and explore in which situations I reacted more strongly. Large supermarkets, fluorescent tubes, masses of people, rough sounds, loud, low-vibration music, and chemical fragrances were the worst.
When I seriously followed the path of spiritual development, my list expanded with other people’s low thoughts and emotions, especially those directed at me, together with loud noises or low frequencies with which some spoke. Similarly, scents and odors were occasionally amplified exponentially so that it was almost impossible to go to places where there were a lot of people. Large power lines messed up the field and I felt it, for example, as I passed under them. And finally, cell phones and computers with their drawbacks came into play. It’s hard for me to concentrate on talking on the phone, my ears and face start burning, I rather receive email. I’m annoying as I don’t answer the phone right away every time.
Similarly, it is difficult to concentrate if there is bright lighting or a computer screen. The face begins to redden, the eyes become sore, and the tinnitus has slowly begun to strengthen. All these “strenuous” symptoms still make me a burdensome person, although I usually keep quiet about them if I’m among people other than my own loved ones.
It is also often the case that I am not able to eat everything that others eat, because of the energy of the food. I’m able to see the information and bioenergy of the food, and I just can’t always put everything in my mouth. As a vegetarian, it is not easy to find good food altogether, although that has changed a lot for the better in recent years. I also find it difficult to eat food with too much information, that is, a lot of different ingredients or spices. You can only imagine how burdensome this sensitivity is for others! I’m a fuzzy snob. However, I compromise because there are often situations where you can’t choose what to eat. The consequences must then only be endured because the vibration decreases and the more delicate system gets confused.
High sensitivity is an all-encompassing condition in which you try to live in this “normal” world and it often causes a lot of work. The senses are strained, and so is the nervous system. For me, the strain has manifested as severe nerve aches, skin itching, headaches, and at its worst, cardiac arrhythmias. The thyroid gland has reacted because of the constant state of stress and sometimes there have been times when my whole body has just felt beaten all over and I’ve just slept.
It’s not always easy to live with sensory sensitivity. I don’t like to use hypersensitivity, because sensing everything invisible should be a natural state for all of us, not some hyper state that is a disadvantage. Our developed world just doesn’t support the development of sensitivities, nor the subtler vibrations by and large. The only alternative that remains is, that we as the sensitive, simply have to find ways of coping in this world, so that we do not have to be completely sidelined from it. You have to learn some ways to protect yourself.
When a strong sensitivity state is active, for one reason or another, then the information coming through all senses is multiplied by several dozen times. It’s like stepping into a world where all the sounds beat you, causing physical pain, and so do the lights and colors that crisscross all around you, and sometimes there are powerful beams bouncing on you from people, that hurt too. Similarly, you will hear hurting sounds, for example, if you hear electronic music without sacred frequencies or music with an aggressive message or superficial words.
It all attacks you and hurts. After a while, you are in a state where you hear nothing but some kind of cacophony, and your ears pop, you are unable to focus on anyone’s speech and the lights cause pain deep in your head. Just a few more moments in those energies and the nerve pain starts and progresses from the extremities towards the heart area. The headache has already started and it’s hard to keep your eyes open. You yawn constantly and feel the heart starting to miss beats, then just to quickly catch them up. Anything that comes through the senses hurts physically. You also see strange beings that you realize are those stuck in a limbo state, wandering souls with their suffering. You can also sense strange beings in the fields of fellow travelers that tell of, for example, a lust for booze, or some other addiction. You also experience the emotions of even total strangers and the state of their souls. Somewhere In the background you sense and see angels trying to make contact with their own people. Your vibration has dropped from the load and then you can no longer control what comes through your senses. The skin becomes touch-sensitive.
Our world is so full of constantly crisscrossing energy that can be seen, felt, heard, smelled, and sometimes even tasted. With time, experiencing all this becomes low-spiritedness and even disability to work, because there just isn’t enough strength to keep this world out.
My writing may sound like a terrible exaggeration, but it’s not that. I’ve described what sensitivity can be at its worst, and I’ve experienced a few days like that in my life! I have also experienced how I have been criticized for my overreactions and for being difficult on purpose. It has also been said that I am just a crazy person who needs the right medication to make all those hallucinations disappear.
Over the years, I’ve understood the gift of my sensitivity. Having seriously focused on cleansing my own vibrations, emotions, and physical body, I have finally found a state where my gift can safely serve, as is intended. I can open my senses toward the higher, multidimensional worlds and communicate with higher beings, and seek knowledge from those worlds within my strong field of light. This is how sensitivity is intended, as its function is to serve and help. My experiences over so many years have also helped those who have similar experiences of their own “sensory hypersensitivity”. I have been able to bring advice and understanding to a sometimes very difficult situation where someone fears that they have gone mad or have been discriminated against in their own living surroundings.
Of course, you can also choose to eliminate all such harmful energies and thus do better in this society. That often leads to a lonely life where the boundaries only become tighter over the years. There are also those who are meant to develop themselves so that they can serve through that sensitivity. I’m one of those servants. And I know now, wiser after many years of experience, that we sensitive people can find the right methods to become stronger and put our finer senses to use to the benefit of others.
My solar time was a bit of a struggle to find the balance so that we could focus on what was the most important, which was to consciously go through my solar days. During this solar period, it became clear how my body is still my weak link, as my body protested strongly for a couple of days. My condition, so to speak, collapsed for a few days so that I couldn’t even walk the little ascents without getting out of breath and without a pulse reaching almost 140. The slightest effort made me dizzy and the world began to hum around me. I had to give up on exercise and start asking what was going on. The Helpers replied that that place did not support the change in solar energy, even though it had looked so good on the astrological map. I’d forgotten something important, which was to ask the Helpers’ opinion. Secondly, I shouldn’t have fasted like I always do before my solar. I had forgotten to confirm that, too, and had only followed the same formula as before when my solar approaches. The result was an overdose of harmful radiation from all sides and, as a result of fasting, “a collapse” of the thyroid gland that brought with it cardiac arrhythmias.
This was a hard but useful lesson that nothing can be assumed at this stage, but one must always turn to the Helpers to confirm things. I admit, yes, that once more, I had set myself aside again, and I did not listen enough to the signs that my body had sent even before solar time. Lots of work on the computer, listening to other people’s worries and thoughts, hours spent in the car, and too little sleep. So everything accumulated together before my solar and I got a clear lesson on how to maintain this temple even more with the aging. Past years, sorrows, and setbacks have left their mark, unfortunately. We must be strong in every aspect, also including the lowest link, that is, at the physical level. Fortunately, however, I am healthy, but that health needs to be cherished even more, because the world around us does not support it, on the contrary. And the more sensitive you are in terms of energy structure, the stronger you react. Now once again, I’m slowly hurrying forward and getting stronger, listening to myself.
My solar moment was, however, great despite all the pains of the previous days. I got to experience the presence of the Helpers and their messages about the situation were given with love. I can only humbly thank them because this lesson was also necessary so that no greater damage was done. After all, life is about learning and growing, all the way to the end.
So let us be sensitive in a strong way, at the levels of body, soul, and spirit energy. In that way, we can fulfill our mission here in the concrete world, as was intended.
